Monthly Update XXXth Board



It finally happened. I have finally been attacked not only by a horse-sized duck but by ten duck-sized horses as well; and all in the same month. Although I have been able to (barely) survive both encounters, I can now confidently say that I may have underestimated the fierceness of duck-sized horses. These vicious creatures would stop at nothing to put me down, no matter how fast I ran or how hard I kicked, there was no escape. I can count myself lucky as a nice Dutch student distracted these beasts with their mini-carrot snacks and I was freed. The duck came after me a few days later, on a rainy day. It seemed like a regular Tuesday when I was surprised by this monstrosity on my way back home, a towering mass of feathers and pure anger. I will not recount here the details of this fight, but they have become engraved in my flesh through horrendous scars.I can say I am lucky to see another day. I hope it stays that way.



Hi everyone, I’d like to start this month’s monthly update by confessing a recent discovery. In my last almost 6 years of being gay, I never imagined being something different. Some happenings in my personal life have made me reconsider my sexuality. For the first time ever in my life, I watched Magic Mike, and I think I’ve made a huge mistake. The broad shoulders and abs and of course, the hot dance routine, all woven into a story line of bravery and utter realness have made me think that I might like men after all. I don’t quite know how to tell my girlfriend this yet, since she deserves to know the real me, but I’m not going to tell her unless I know for sure whether or not I want to explore the Y chromosome a bit more. In any case, I’ll keep you guys updated, aka see you in May. Wish me luck!



/\___/\꒰ ˶• ༝ – ˶꒱./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎ /\___/\꒰ ˶• ༝ – ˶꒱./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎ /\___/\꒰ ˶• ༝ – ˶꒱./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎ /\___/\꒰ ˶• ༝ – ˶꒱./づᡕᠵ᠊ᡃ࡚ࠢ࠘ ⸝່ࠡࠣ᠊߯᠆ࠣ࠘ᡁࠣ࠘᠊᠊°.~♡︎



This month was a weird one like always. It started with a rabbitnthat fell down thenstairs. One thing youshould know about me, I don’t have a pet rabbit.So my month started with a quest to find the ownerof the pet. it took me weeks to find its name. Apparently, it had a tattoo on hisskin: “Dog,” it said. So I proceeded to call the rabbit by its name, Dog. Dog and I were walking around, and I was getting some weird looks. I was just taking him for a walk, so nothing out of the ordinary. Some old lady came up to me and asked what I was doing. I responded with: I’m just letting out Dog. She was looking at me like I had said something crazy and threatened me if I fooled her like that again. So I walked along and went to the pet store to buy some stuff for Dog. I asked if they had some food for Dog, but they said that they don’t sell dog food. This was so weird to me as I just wanted some food for Dog and not dog food. Anyways, that same day, as I was walking out of the store, I let go of Dogs leash for 1 second and he jumped in front of a car. I started crying and screaming at the driver that he killed Dog, but the driver looked at me as if I was crazy. So then when I sat down, the helpers finally came with my vitamins. I was feeling so calm again as they escorted me back to my room. My room is pretty nice. It has 4 walls, a door that won’t open, and I always have my friend Rob with me. Rob never leaves my side like Dog. Rob is nice. I wished others were like Rob. When I tell the helpers about Rob, they tell me that he doesn’t exist, but I always talk with him, play with him. He never leaves my side. For some reason no-one knows Rob while I have tried to introduce him for many times. Hahaha its as if he doesn’t exist. But that must be the other people being assholes. Anyway, this is what I have done in my month. I hope to soon get out of this place tho, I’ve been here for way too long. The helpers tell me that they will release me soon but soon never comes. Soon never comes. Soon never comes. Soon never comes. Soon never comes. Soon never comes. Soon never comes.

See you all next time,


Head of External Affairs

Oh hey there, Monthly Update! Are you ready for the madness that was my month of March? Buckle up, because it’s gonna get wild!First off, I met with our new sponsor, Pornhub, to discuss how we could film content dedicated to people with frog fantasies. We concluded that the Board would record a Boargie, with frog costumes in a pond. Looking forward to that! Keep posted for green sextoys release. And in a truly bizarre turn of events, I attended a meeting with a group of BDSM amateurs who were looking to start their own association. We decided to collaborate on our Berlin trip, a city well-known for its vibrant BDSM scene. Who knows what’s in store for us?Of course, we also had our regular board duties, like attending meetings and events. We hosted a “worshiping Satan party” where everyone showed up in their favorite Pentagram related costumes. It was very fun!Phew, what a month! I can’t wait to see what kind of shenanigans April will bring. Stay tuned for more absurdity!




February was a more relaxed month but exciting nonetheless. We started the month with the wonderful Aprés-ski themed COP IV and the German bangers that came with it (an acquired taste I must say). The second week of the month was busier, with the Board drinks in the Monday, the Valentin’s game quiz on Tuesday with Ouranos and the Half-year GA on Thursday. A lot of interested members came by the board drinks where we had a chance to explain what tasks we carry out as board and saw the interests of potential candidates, Helix will be in good hands next year. The valentine’s day event was a lot of fun, where we had the chance to get to know and compete with law students from the association Ouranos. In the GA we presented our half year report to our members and they had a chance to ask their questions and give us comments on how we have been doing so far. The statuten changes were all voted in so a meeting with the notary is in the horizon and the house rules were updated (with most of the GA being in flavor).
Next to the Helix events I attended several meetings regarding sustainability at UM. On the 28th of February, the second meeting of the Sustainibility network took place, in which we learned about how to use the business model canvas to carry out projects and I got the chance to meet other students working towards a more sustainable FHML. For now, a work group has been created for sustainable projects at FHML and we will collaborate in the organization of the sustainability week within the faculty. Additionally, Alicia and I met with the director of education Jan Theys to discuss how Helix and the educational institutions within FHML will interact in the future. For now I cannot give many details but I can say that I am very pleased with how the meeting went and Jan’s proposals. I will give more information once I have it. A presidents of Randwyck also took place in which Santè’s Placebo’s and Pulse’s presidents were present. We discussed some common issues that we are all having and we started working on a plan to get involved in the university and faculty elections to represent our members in these institutions.

Kind regards,



And with this June is over and the summer vacation is getting closer, I’m excited already to go back home and enjoy some rest! Probably the most remarkable days for us as board members, and for me in particular, were the changing GA and the extraordinary GA, the former because we finally became official board members and the latter because it was the first GA I had to fully preside on my own. Things could have gone a bit smoother but of course, there is always room for improvement, we are just getting started.

In terms of events, the activities committee kept themselves busy organizing a COP, the arcade night and the end of the year BBQ, all of them fantastic events. Wellbeing had their picnic with some amazing food choices and an even better company. And last but not least, we had the active members day, in which the Education Committee took home the Battle of Committee’s trophy (excursion did not manage to beat us ;P).

 It is precisely to live months like this that I decided to become a board member, and I am really happy to have been finally voted in as the new President of SA Helix. I’ll see you all around, and enjoy your summer vacation!!

– Javi


Hey guys! So… first monthly update as Secretary! Let’s start this little adventure off right with a recap of June. We had the last super fun COP! Then there was the arcade night, where I played skee-ball for the first time in my life. It’s harder than it looks :/. And then the long-awaited Changing GA, where I, for about five minutes, was the only Board Member in SA Helix. I got to use the President’s gavel twice, which doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I was pretty excited about it. Now the next morning we got a little bit of a surprise going into the Helix room as new Board, as we suddenly got a seventh Board Member. A tiny hamster, named Yonis. He was a present from the Old Board, and he’s kind of grown on us, though I don’t believe he functions well on a professional level. Moving on, we had lunch with the Wellbeing Committee, with some amazing food, and even more amazing food on the End-of-Year BBQ at Fun Valley the day after. Finally, some of our lovely Old Board members organized Active members day, where I got shot too many times (with laser guns, don’t worry), and the XXXth Board had our Constitution Drinks! I don’t remember much from that night, but I’m told that’s supposed to happen. We ultimately ended June with what could be the shortest GA Helix has ever had, coming in at 30 minutes. This GA made it possible for us to really start out Board year, as we needed it to have the Budget voted in, which thankfully, we did. Normally, I would start talking about the events for the upcoming month, but seeing as Uni is pretty much done for this year, all I can do is wish everyone the most awesome vacation! Hope to see you next year!

– Laura


Dear Helix Website–yes, I’m starting my monthly updates like this from now on–June has been buuuuuuuuuuuusy. Firstly, we FINALLY got voted in as the XXXth (;D) board of SA Helix, which is a big win :D. So I’m proud to deliver this monthly update as the official treasurer. Other than the big changing GA being a great success, this month has been packed with Helix activities, such as the final COP of this year, the end-of-the-year BBQ, Active Members Day (in which my lovely Education Committee won, HAHA EXCURSION), and an arcade night at the Game Box in Wyck. I’ve also been busy with my treasurer duties, such as planning budgets, paying off invoices, and already starting to train committee treasurers (namely Kirsha for Camp already). Additionally, we also had to do an extraordinary GA since we ran out of time in the changing GA to vote on the budget and the motions 😛 But we may have broken the record for fastest GA of all time with a GA of just under 40 minutes.

That’s it for me this month. I’m looking forward to updating you guys with more! Enjoy your summer holiday!!!

– Amadiez


SO the time has finally come… We are officially the XXXth Board of SA Helix!! Weeks before the changing GA, we had some very fun events, including the last COP, the Arcade event, the MSP Gala, CoBo from our one of our brother assotiations, and the postlockdown festival, busy busy busy. Then we immediately started our first week of being Board with the wellbeing picnic, End of Year BBQ, and Active members day. So again busy busy busy… The events however were a blast and everyone that came had lots of fun at all of them. Then came our CoBo. It was a hassle organising it between all other events, but we managed to do it and it was an amazing experience. We were finally constituted and ready for the upcoming year. Next year is going to be a challenge, but I’m sure that we are going to do our best and have the time of our lifes! That was my update for now, if you want the spicy details feel free to come up to me and ask me about any of these events. Hope you all have an amazing summer and see you all next year!!

– Burak

Head of Education

Hey again everyone, Dion here. The course exams are over and that leaves only the resits. I hope you all make the best out of this. Afterward, you all will have your well-deserved rest and hopefully enjoy some free time! for me the year is now over unless a resit is acquired for period 6 let’s pray that it is not. I am looking forward to seeing you all again in the next academic year and continuing with my responsibilities as head of education. Have a good one yall!!

– Dion

Head of External Affairs

Hello, again, we finally got voted in as the 30th Board of SA Helix!! This month was also very intense for us, filled with lots of events, such as the Arcade event, Post-Lockdown festival, Picnic, End of year BBQ, MSP galas, etc… Combining it with school, especially Systems Biology (hint hint: don’t take this course if you want to have a chill period 6), was very challenging for us but in the end everything went went. Our changing GA was on the 16th, we were very happy to take on this journey and represent the association. Now onto resits for some of us, summer break for others, whatever it may be, we wish everyone an amazing summer ❤️😇.

– Alicia


Candidate President

And just like that another month is gone by! May was full of events with a battle of committees, the excursion, the lecture on how to handle stress during a PhD, the first trampoline Olympics, karaoke night and the last pubquiz of the year, and all of them turned out to be a great deal of fun (even if my ankle got a bit torn during the Olympics). For CB and the current board in particular, we had our board changing weekend, a little weekend that served to bond with each other and finish out some details before the changing GA. I cannot believe it is just two weeks before the voting takes place!

With regards to more serious topics, we have been keeping ourselves busy writing our policy plan, which we are very excited to present during the next general assembly. The preliminary committees are now being set up as well and the general planning for next year has begun. I am really looking forward to what’s to come.

Candidate Secretary

So, on to my second monthly update. To recap May, we finally went on our long-awaited excursion <3. Organising it was a blast and it was amazing to see all the beautiful city sights. Right after we got back, I met the CB’s of Pulse and Santé at a nice lunch. We also had the PhD workshop that day. That weekend, we went on our lovely Board Changing weekend in possibly one of the most southern parts of the Netherlands. We went trampoline jumping with sports when we got back to Maastricht, and we had a karaoke night the day after. A week packed full of events as you can tell, especially since I also joined our current board at the gala of Santé. The last full week of May, CB organised our first event, the preliminary committee drinks, and the last pubquiz of this year was organised as well. I guess that means we can start working towards the rest of June. 

June is going to be a very eventful month. At the upcoming changing GA, we will hopefully be voted into our positions, after which we’ll be taking care of the events still underway. I’m very excited for it, and I hope yall are too!

Candidate Treasurer

Dear Diary…aka Dear Helix Website–it’s my first monthly update!

I got accepted into the XXXth board of SA Helix as its Candidate Treasurer back in late April. After finding out the good news, I embarked on nearly two weeks of traveling as I went to Prague with my precious Education Committee for bonding and joined many students on the Helix Excursion to Budapest. We’ve had several events this past month, such as a BoC event, trampoline olympics at Jumpsquare, and karaoke night at Van Bommel. And Education organized their last PubQuiz of the year! Overall, I’m really happy I’ve been able to interact more with the Helix community by talking to so many people during these events. I’m really looking forward to having fun with everyone for the 30th year of Helix (aka a LUSTRUM year with lots of fun in store hehe). 

As the date of the changing GA approaches, these past few weeks have also been packed with (candidate) board meetings. Working together with the current 29th board and the candidate 30th board is really pumping me up for the busy year next year. Next to that, the current treasurer, Anna, has been preparing me well for the Treasurer position with different training sessions looking at the intricacies of accounting work for Helix. 

There aren’t enough words in the English language to express how fired up I am for my board year. With fantastic people on the candidate board and a spicy community of diverse BioMed students, June (and the many months to come) is sure to be jam-packed with unforgettable memories!

Candidate Vice-President

Damn another month has passed again. This month was filled with loads of fun activities. The month already started with the trip to Budapest, which was an amazing experience in itself. I had never gone to Hungary before, so seeing a completely different culture from what I’m used to was amazing. I think my favorite thing I did there was visit the national Art museum :D. Then as we got back from Budapest, we ofcourse didn’t sit still (because why would we need time to recharge from the trip ;-;), we had lunch with the Candidate boards and current Boards of Sante and Pulse which was a lot of fun, met some great new people. That same day there was a Wellbeing event where we learned how to deal with stress, very handy for our boardyear and also later on in life. Then we went on our board changing weekend, which was a lot of fun and we as Candidate Board bonded really well over it. The week after, had some committee meetings, a sports event where we went to an indoor trampoline park, had an karaoke event, and a gala of our brother assotiation Sante. Again a busy busy week, but honestly I loved every second of it, from all the meetings to all the events. Then came the end of the month, we organised the preliminary committee drinks and got some signups for our preliminary committees. This month was one of the most fun and busy months I have had in a while and I can’t wait for upcoming months. Damn it may look as if I was ranting but trust me I love what I do, even tho it may come over as if I don’t hahaha. That was it from me for this month, see you all in the next one!

Candidate Head of Education

Another day, another month gone. So this is my first monthly update:). There were a lot of events I attended such as the jumping square event(sports) and how to deal with stress during your PHD(well-being) among others. For my position as head of education in particular I attended my first MBS and student council meeting. During the student council meeting it was brought to the table that we are still looking for new members so, if you’re interested in joining send your resume to them! Meike organized a very fun SEP assembly at the TREK festival where most SEP members joined in. Currently SEP 1 is in the process of creating the report for BBS1005. If you have any constructive feedback on it I will always be willing to listen:). Now the next period is already starting again, sadly no reflection week for us poor FHML students. I hope this month is going to be great for all of us and see you in the next one XOXO Dion;P 

Candidate Head of External Affairs

Onto my second month as CB!! As it was already said by my lovely fellow candidate board and board members, May has been a very intense month. Firstly, the excursion finally happened and it was amazing to experience it as a committee and a CB member. We also had lots of different events, and I really did not expect to enjoy the trampoline event as much as I did! I also experienced my first onsite pubquiz, in which I was maybe a bit too hyped (we ended up 12 out of 16 groups, despite having passed the course already). I also worked for the first time in the Netherlands, at the TREK festival serving drinks as well as looks ;). Most importantly, I had my training as Candidate Head of External Affairs and started reaching out to our current sponsors. I’m really glad to have bonded so much with CB, during the Board Changing Weekend but also just in everyday life and struggles. I’m so looking forward to the next part of our adventures, but primarily getting voted in on the 16th June!